Pamela

The Hills Have Eyes

“Are you sure this guy actually likes you?” I thought I was. We’d met when I hired him to take photos a few years back and we still grabbed lunch on the regular. But now, driving down a deserted dirt road to nowhere, I wasn’t so sure. He’d sent me this way. Given me directions to an off-the-beaten-path town that would make for some pretty pictures. Over the last few hours we’d driven deep into California’s Mojave National Preserve. I wasn’t sure we’d make it out. Our fall road trip had ...

Fucking Amateurs

I didn’t need to look up, I knew they were watching us. Six people trying to maneuver a boat backwards into the open slip were bound to become a spectacle. They’d seen us coming. The giant logo running along our boom was a dead giveaway. And now, as the wind pushed us sideways towards their anchor lines, the crowd roared. They hurled insults, all in the local language, until one voice cut through the din – fucking amateurs!  We’d been invited to sail the Greek islands about six months ...

Three’s Company

I walked down the stone path towards the arriving taxi. He looked tired. After missing a flight, J had rebooked his entire trip from Vancouver to the Isle of Man. I, on the other hand, had arrived on schedule, more than twenty-four hours earlier. As I led him back towards the hotel lobby, a group at the bar waved and shouted, ‘Pam from Canada!’ J looked at me, confused. In the day he’d lost, I’d become an international sensation.  A year earlier, we’d begun planning for a trip that would ...

Free Falling

Standing on the side of the mountain as the sun rose overhead, I started to cry. Fellow travelers were making their way from the hut to the tiny cart that would carry them across the gorge to a gondola suspended between two opposing peaks. I watched them walk by. Kind of. Ten minutes earlier as we’d checked in for the first event of a very big day, I’d been forced to hand over my glasses. Everything was blurry, made worse by the tears that were now running freely down my face. The day was ...

Golden Shower

The upside of travel is embracing the unknown. The downside, never knowing when you’ll find a place to pee. I think about it. A lot. I measure every ounce of liquid I consume against the expected number of minutes between potentially useable washrooms. It’s either that or, get arrested for public nudity in a foreign country.  Men don’t have this problem. The world is their toilet. I can’t count the number of times we’ve been less than two minutes down the road when J realized he should have ...

Road Rules

The lot was full. Promising freedom. Adventure. The open road. And, as it turned out, eight days in a tin can adorned with the anti-slip stickers from grandma’s bathtub.  We’d booked a camper online for our one-week trip from Sydney to Melbourne and back. The budget option. They make the price worthwhile by ensuring everyone knows it’s a rental. Large purple flowers covered the exterior. At best, it had a Mystery Machine vibe. At worst, the spring decor line at Walmart. Just hours after ...

When in Rome

Do as the Romans do. Adapt to local customs. Emulate the culture. Drink ridiculously expensive cocktails in a luxury hotel until the lounge singers hand you a mic. A saying based in antiquity, uniquely applied to modern day travel. Bora Bora. It’s home to some of the largest overwater bungalows in the region and impossibly beautiful. I could feel the ka-ching in the air. If a cloud of thousand dollar bills floated by on the breeze, I would not have been the least bit surprised.  We’d never ...

Havana, Ooh Na-Na

We landed late, touching down well after dark. Sleep deprived and probably a little bar cart(ed), it was a slow roll through customs and then outside onto the curb where we caught something resembling a cab. It wasn’t. The streets were silent. Few lights. No people. A saw tooth skyline both colourful and crumbling. This is Havana. I’d made arrangements to spend our first two days in the city with a total stranger. We met him outside the tourist district, a house with a shop around back. We ...

Big Fish

I have a super power. At least that’s what I tell myself.  It revealed itself a few years back on a sailing trip in the British Virgin Islands. We’d been at sea for days and were making a crossing. It was a long one. There’d be no land in sight for hours. Just blue on blue, a thin line separating sea from sky. I’d had breakfast, cracked the spine of a new book and dozed for an hour in the midday sun. Now bored, I sat watching Jimmi bait a hook.  As he let out the line, a thought entered my ...

Out of Africa

Imagine this. You’ve just spent five days driving through deep sand and dry grass in search of elephants. Scratch that. In Botswana, you’ll find them around every bend in the road. The country is home to more than 130,000. So, you’ve seen hundreds, maybe thousands, and as you make your way by car to the next destination, the driver says…’an elephant has been killed in a nearby village, do you want to go see?’ I didn’t.  The elephant in question had become a nuisance, rampaging through ...